England’s World Cup: a spectator sport

June 19th, 2010 § 3 comments

And so we get the inevitable plunge into despair for that strange, 2-yearly, mutually-masturbatory coali­tion of Eng­lish TV, radio, tabloids and foot­ball fans.

Whether it’s the Euro­pean Cham­pi­onships or the World Cup, we see the same repeated cycle of over-stimulated expec­ta­tions fol­lowed by a slump into despon­dency when the real­iza­tion of the true worth of their team dawns. Love and hate are never far apart for this coali­tion of the absurd.

A team that was never much good to begin with, but which was endowed with hope far beyond that which objec­tiv­ity and com­mon sense could ever allow, falls from grace and slides from adu­la­tion to abom­i­na­tion, and all in the short 90 min­utes or so between the first and the last blow of a referee’s whistle.

The biggest cul­prit in all of this, of course, is the foot­ball media parade, from Talk Radio to the back pages of the tabloids to the brain­less inani­ties of BBC Radio 5 Live (with the hon­ourable excep­tion of Danny Baker, who suf­fers the highs and lows that every true foot­ball fan suf­fers, but who always brings humour and intel­li­gence to the aftermath).

In Scot­land, we laugh at the child­ish wit­ter­ings of Chick Young — even his fel­low pun­dits find him amus­ing. Alan Green, on the other hand, 5 Live’s very own Chick Young, is taken seri­ously by pun­dits and fans alike. Green, despite watch­ing and com­men­tat­ing on foot­ball for half a cen­tury, has never learned that the cat­e­gor­i­cal state­ment sim­ply doesn’t work in foot­ball (as, for instance, in Novem­ber 1999, when he told 5 Live Newsdrive’s Peter Allen that it was sim­ply not pos­si­ble for Scot­land to beat Eng­land at Wem­b­ley that evening — Scot­land won 1–0).

Else­where on the BBC, we hear the casual xeno­pho­bia that dis­misses the foot­balling (and, for that mat­ter, ref­er­ee­ing) pedi­gree of any team from a coun­try that the wit­less mavens they employ find dif­fi­cult to locate on a map of the world. Eng­land invented foot­ball, don’t you know.

So, here we are again. Eng­land need to beat Slove­nia. Should they qual­ify, all of the hand-wringing and all of the neck-wringing will be forgotten…until the next bit of fum­bled goal­keep­ing or the next missed penalty…and then it all begins again.

There’s more than one spec­ta­tor sport hap­pen­ing at the World Cup in South Africa.

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§ 3 Responses to England’s World Cup: a spectator sport"

  • Martin says:

    I’d pretty much agree with all of this John, except I think that a lot of Eng­lish fans like myself have (finally) learnt not to expect much. I think we see too much good footie to really believe we com­pete. Of course one sort of hopes the team might come together a la 1990, but isn’t really sur­prised any more (although I am a tad sur­prised at just how woe­ful they are this time). The media though seem to have only one story ‘eng­land expects’, rather than ‘we’re not very good, let’s see how far we get’. When Eng­land go out my response is usu­ally one of relief as I can get on and enjoy it.

  • John Connell says:

    I actu­ally believe, Mar­tin, that if this cycle of boom and bust in Eng­lish foot­ballng expec­ta­tions could be flat­tened with a lit­tle more real­ism all round, we might even find Scot­tish fans like myself much more will­ing to sup­port Eng­land in the major cham­pi­onships. It’s got very lit­tle to do with petty nation­al­ism, and a whole lot to do with the cat­er­waul­ing of the foot­ball media every cou­ple of years.

    And it’s such a shame that it is the BBC, through 5 Live, that leads the way along this rollercoaster.

  • Max says:

    June 27 2010 Free State Sta­dium, Mangaung/Bloemfontein (South Africa)
    Round of last 16 Ger­many 4–1 Eng­land (HT: 2–1)
    Although South Africa was a British colony and it was more than 40,000 spec­ta­tors at the match, the Three Lions team was really awful. I think that Fabio Capello should go to train another team.

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